Porto gets no punishment for ref bribes

The Portuguese league champs are back in the UEFA Champions League after an appeal by rivals Benfica and Guimaraes was dismissed.

Porto was initially docked six points and kicked outta the UCL for attempting to bribe refs, but they still won the league title and are back in the competition.

So essentially they got away with it.

It's a big decision, because now Benfica has to settle for the UEFA Cup -- or whatever it's called -- and Guimaraes gets no European competition.

No more fake passports for you...

...you sneaky Argentines.

VIDEO: Funny little skit

This is pretty entertaining, but association is what makes sports so awesome.

I saw this thanks to a link dump at The Offside.

Babel wants to go to Beijing

The Liverpool youngster appears to be sticking it to Rafa Benitez -- who warned the winger the Olympics might cost him a place on the first team at Anfield.

Babel, who missed Euros with an ankle injury, would be the team's best player.

Roy Makaay, Gerald Sibon and Kew Jaliens were picked as the over-age players.

Gilberto Silva to Greece?

The Brazilian holding midfielder appears to be leaving Arsenal for Greece.

Which would open things up for one Gareth Barry...

Dwight Yorke unretires, again!

This guy is like the Brett Favre of Trinidad and Tobago-an (?) soccer.

Not really.

Anyways, the ol' Smiling Assassin is back to lead the T&T World Cup qualifier campaign. He's 36 and after over 100 games for his country is probably the best option up front still.

Good times.

VIDEO: Rafa joins Gillette crew?

I recently saw a new Gillette ad that appeared to phase out Thierry Henry and phase in Derek Jeter.

Then I came across this one with Rafa Marquez -- which looks like something that some crafty Mexican photoshopped.

Or videoshopped.

Man that guy's hair is oil-plastered to his head.

Nobody wants Ruiz...

(snicker)

Reyna to retire!

From everything! Forever!

It's kinda sad, but I can't remember watching this guy play since the World Cup.

Nevertheless, Claudio Reyna (aka Captain America) is one of the few Americans that has earned street cred in Europe.

He's played in England, Germany and Scotland at a high level. He's got 112 caps for the nat'l team. He's definitely on the Mount Rushmore of American soccer.

Maybe we'll see him as a coach sometime soon.

Farewell skipper.

VIDEO: Scorpion kick goalkeeper returns!

Once you see the video, you'll know who I'm talking about.

Classic.

Thanks to 101 Great Goals via World Cup Blog for the content.

Del Bosque luckiest coach in the world

This guy, who I've never seen before but must admit looks pretty funny, is the new coach of Spain's national team.

Vicente del Bosque.

I guess he used to coach Real Madrid and Spain back in like the '70s and '80s.

Whoever he is, he just inherited a team with a lot of talent with a lot of expectations. The only way to go is down, it seems.

So maybe he's the unluckiest coach in the world.

It's official: Ronaldinho to Milan

Finally, a dramatic big name transfer saga ends.

The Brazilian playmaker (above) is going to play alongside another Brazilian playmaker, Kaka, for the Rossoneri. Both will probably sit behind one central forward (Pato?) in the attack.

The transfer fee was about $33 million, much less than the reported offer of $50 million by Manchester City.

Good times.

Ballack's wedding LINKS

Dude, thats a shiny suit.

• Wait. Might CR7 and gal not broken up? [TiET]
  
  
• Diego Maradona Jr.??? [The Original Winger]
  
  
• Help us find Gooch! [The Offside Rules]
  
  
• Rooney's little 17-year-old bro signed. [Daily Mail]
  
  
• A deeper look into the Guzan work-permit saga. [Goal!]
  
  
• Mourinho's first signing: Mancini. [FourFourTwo]
  
  
• Punishment for Blanco punch. [MLS Rumors]
  
  
• Lampard and Drogba on preseason Blues tour. [Telegraph]

Torres eyes Gerrard's armband

Supposedly the young Spaniard has eyes on Liverpool's captaincy.

Gerrard: Dude, you're not getting my armband. Stop staring at it.

Torres: Can I at least take this kick then?

Gerrard: Sorry. No niños allowed.

Marseilles fans hoping to swoop up Drogba

This is a cute story. Something you might hear when a cheerleading squad wants new uniforms.

Marseilles fans want Chelsea forward Didier Drogba back so much that they're raising money to cover the star's transfer fee.

They have a website and everything! With online contributions faith-based promises to contribute, they might be up to two million euros -- which is still a long way from the 20 some million required.

The Offside has some more info, go check it out.

VIDEO: Worst PK ever goes to...?

Diana Ross.

You heard me right. And you'll agree after you see this video courtesy of FourFourTwo.

Not only did she miss a wide-open net from eight yards away, but she took the whole goal down!

Beach games for Tottenham

The Spoiler has all the pics of the Spurs boys having a fun ol' day at the beach.

Is Robinho worth 48 million pounds?

Geez, I don't think so.

This appears to be Chelsea posturing at its best. Roman and Phil can't really be taking this offer seriously, can they?

I guess losing to Man Utd. is every way possible last season might make one desperate.

While being a spry 24 years old is a plus -- along with an incredibly entertaining style of play -- I don't think the little guy will have the same success in a physically demanding EPL.

He'd have an impact somewhere between Malouda and Joe Cole, I feel.

Audi design foosball table?

At first I didn't believe this.

But The Original Winger found the story on The Auto Channel, so I guess it's gotta be.

The formal idiom of the Audi Design soccer table reflects the Audi design philosophy without incorporating any individual elements or shapes from specific vehicle models.

Cool. As long as it isn't gas operated.

VIDEO: Davor Suker scores cheeky charity goal

101 Great Goals found the highlight of the old Croat juking some France '98 players in a recent charity match.

Didn't know a 40 year old could move like that.